So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
