i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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