The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
