I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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