Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
