My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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