SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
