My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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