whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
