so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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