How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
