I only kidnapped one of them. chill
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
