@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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