You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize