i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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