I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
