Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
that may or may not have been my penis.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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