I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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