Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
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It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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