You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
