i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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