NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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