I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
