I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
