It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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