I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
