I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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