I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
