I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
