Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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