Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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