Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize