I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize