I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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