u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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