There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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