ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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