for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
