nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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