I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
