i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She bit a glass in half.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
