Duck Duck Cougar?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
