Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
