Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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