I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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