Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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