Pants 0. Shit 1.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
