his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Pooping to opera.
Shame - the story of my life.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
