you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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