Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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