maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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