I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
