were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
