soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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