Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
