i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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