I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
