I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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