Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
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