well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize