I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
