You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
