please come you make the beer taste better
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He better not be in your backpack
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
