He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
