Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
